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Internet icon Greg Goldsher introduces the most important product since the Super Green - CD Enhancer Marker (TM)Technological breakthrough allows smells to be transmitted across the WebPhoto Available SoonJust plug this $79 peripheral into your computer's serial port and if your Web browser supports inline smells you can start your morning with the smell of fresh coffee just by clicking on:http://www.morning.coffee.net/wakeup.html
How does it work?Just as a sound card produces sound by interpreting bits of information, the WebSmell (TM) translates information into smells. Smells can be coded into an alphanumeric string and transmitted across computer lines. The alphanumeric code for pine sap looks like:
therqbhgguvfvfgbgnyylobthf.qvqlbhp ngpunyygurbgureersreraprf?gurerne rnsrjuvqqraheyfnyfb
The WebSmell functions using a process called----. The device releases chemical "signature" particles into the air and scans for natural reactions to these particles. It then obtains any relevant products of these reactions and modifies them to produce new smells and odors. In theory, WebSmell could take the smell of a jelly donut lying on your desk and turn it into the scent of a foreign location like Amsterdam or Berlin. Who is Greg GoldsherGreg Goldsher is best known for the virus named after him. It was written during his college days at MIT where he gained notoriety through a year long debate with Bill Gates (before he founded Microsoft) about legally rounding the value of pi.His roomate Biff was so impressed by Greg's wisdom that he wrote a virus to ensure that Greg Goldsher became a household name. The virus infects television teleprompters and newspaper desktop publishing computers to produce false stories about Greg. The stories are usually of a novel, semi-plausible nature that journalists and the public can't help but pass on. You have probably seen many of his stories. Recently, in Des Moines, IA he was reported as trying to raise money by collecting aluminum pull tabs. The money supposedly was to go for artificial legs to replace the ones that he had amputated due to a shrink to fit jean mishap. Biff's perverse nature shows in this story because Greg does collect pull tabs but to raise money for a new spleen to replace the one stolen from him during a bizarre mugging in New York City. The most striking feature of the Greg Goldsher Virus is its intractable immortality. It cannot be eradicated. Countless attempts to squash the virus have failed totally. America's susceptibility to this virus is truly uncanny.
WebSmell available this fall for following machines:
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